[[before you chastise me for disappearing on you for months, i will just say that i try to enjoy as much time WITH my hugsband as possible when he's home. also, my creativity was trying (and failing) to channel itself into other projects. so now i'm back with full attention.]]
for years, i anticipated reaching the early 20s stage of my life. daydreams of my future self's life changed shape on occasion, but the anticipation and eagerness was a constant companion for most of my teens.
i started off with a bang, for sure. i celebrated my 21st in jerusalem, with plenty of long-distance love from home and my then-boyfriend-now-husband. that summer, i lived in northern virginia with an eight-to-five internship that i loved. l.o.v.e.d.
when i returned to my senior year of college, i struggled and stumbled my way through beyond-demanding classes and the full realization that most of my best college friends had already graduated and started their new (real) lives. three weeks after graduation, i was married and en route to my new home in san diego county, with sparkly visions of a career-track, city-ish-living and beach-going in my head.
fast-forward... stop. play. i'm six months from the end of this era of my life (i have a crazy, unshakable idea that once 24 happens, i'm in my mid-20s and can't ever get back the "early"). i'm a much-loved wife and daughter, sister and aunt. but all my sparkly visions have dissipated, instead replaced with a sense of disillusionment.
so, my goal for the next six months is simple. mostly. live like i'm still young, instead of acting like i'm already past my prime. time to go shopping for fun clothing, brightly colored nail polish, apply for the jobs i only dream of getting, and find some kindred spirits. to be inspired and to be an inspiration. mostly, though, i want to dig deep and stretch myself in my faith and get closer to God. my Savior. my life.