nebraska christmas.

i love san diego weather. love. after four straight years of two winters per year, and then indiana-freezing winters on top... i feel i deserve the warm weather and sunshine for a bit. this year for christmas, though, i went back to my parents' house for the holidays. and winter. i'm laughing to myself, because this christmas in nebraska has been decidedly un-white, and even slightly warm. it was in the 50s today.
i love coming home to family for christmas. it means loads of baking, so many brothers, little niece and nephew vying for my attention, amazing food that i don't always have to make myself, and so much love. the presents under the tree trees didn't hurt, either.
i love giving presents, too. this year's presents were a bit anticlimactic, since a few were homemade. i've taken up knitting again, and am working on the third of three scarves-as-presents. my mom got a cozy cream-colored loose-knit scarf. tommy and killian (brother and nephew) are getting matching charcoal chunky-knit ribbed scarves. the best part? i have a blast knitting for people i love. and all of these loved ones have loved their scarves. super simple to knit, but a great project that takes up plenty of my time. wanna start a knitting circle, anyone? even if we don't live near each other, there's always google hangout!
love. re.

#oneword365

ever since she (and, so, i too) started picking a word each year, i've loved alece's tradition. it's absolutely astounding to discover how one little word, in place of tens of new year's resolutions, can change your year and your heart. last year, i even got a tattoo as a reminder to "listen." it's never been an easy path to follow, but God has worked in my mind and heart so many ways just by reminding me of that one word during important moments. amazing.
this year, my word is "light."
i think this one-word-reminder will be central in many of my decisions, relationships and thoughts this year, and i love how i don't pick a single one-word on my own. God is so amazing, how he speaks to us and through us. the reason for "light" is john 1. it was my christmas story of choice this year, because it speaks so deeply to me of God's power and purity and beauty, and also of his sovereignty and love. my goal in choosing "light" is to see and reflect His light. join in and check out the community of bloggers who also participate, and check back here for random updates from me throughout the year. i really hope you join us. it'll change your life. it has mine.
love,
re

new favorite blog.

i know some of you who read also love to find steals, diy, and decorate! if you haven't already heard of all things thrifty (att), you need to go read! i love that it is truly ALL things thrifty - including girls' nights out/in! there are lots of fun tips and giveaways and inspiration.
this weekend, brooke has a giveaway going for a $100 gift card for pottery barn! drool. i love pb, but can only dream about most of the things in their stores! whenever i see one in a mall, i walk around and admire. how great would it be to win!? the giveaway is sponsored by hometalk, an online community where users can ask and answer questions about anything home-related. from what i've seen, i already love it. home upkeep, asking for help with home decor, inspiration... loads of great info! so, head on over to att and enter. if they get 1000 entries or more, the prize increases to $200.
one of my goals in the next 10 months is to make this house feel even more like home, and to improve my quality of living by making my home more comfortable! i've already started a mini-garden on the back patio, and i've done a few small projects. i plan to start posting some soon, so check back here, too!

confessions of a bible major: deliverer.

during one of the songs at church tonight, it dawned on me that i'm not very good at believing in God sometimes.
...  say what?  ...
yep. i know that sounds a bit crazy, but it's quite true. of course i believe He exists. most of the time, i believe He loves me (who doesn't doubt that occasionally, during rough times?). i have no problem believing that He is active in this world and intervenes on behalf of people. but i have serious issues with truly believing that He *will* deliver me from the situations i face.
i know that deliverer is a common name for God and all. trust me. in fact, i did a search and got 228 responses. that is not a small number. that's a big number! (homestar runner, anyone?)
i deeply crave God's deliverance in my life, but at the same time, i have never really consciously thought about it.
a lot of times in my life, i've had to tough it out. of course the biggest emotional bog that comes to mind is this last deployment. jobless, in a new town with very few friends... i so wanted God to plop answers in my lap. instead, i faced rejection, loneliness and disappointment for the better part of a year.
while i certainly don't know how God's deliverance will play itself out in my life, i do know that psalm 40, in its entirety, is going to be my prayer for the coming year. because it is only by God's strength and deliverance that i'll make it through.
here's to believing, without a doubt, in His ability to deliver me.
--
...how have you experienced His deliverance in your life?

on being in my early 20s.

[[before you chastise me for disappearing on you for months, i will just say that i try to enjoy as much time WITH my hugsband as possible when he's home. also, my creativity was trying (and failing) to channel itself into other projects. so now i'm back with full attention.]]

for years, i anticipated reaching the early 20s stage of my life. daydreams of my future self's life changed shape on occasion, but the anticipation and eagerness was a constant companion for most of my teens.

i started off with a bang, for sure. i celebrated my 21st in jerusalem, with plenty of long-distance love from home and my then-boyfriend-now-husband. that summer, i lived in northern virginia with an eight-to-five internship that i loved. l.o.v.e.d.

when i returned to my senior year of college, i struggled and stumbled my way through beyond-demanding classes and the full realization that most of my best college friends had already graduated and started their new (real) lives. three weeks after graduation, i was married and en route to my new home in san diego county, with sparkly visions of a career-track, city-ish-living and beach-going in my head.

fast-forward... stop. play. i'm six months from the end of this era of my life (i have a crazy, unshakable idea that once 24 happens, i'm in my mid-20s and can't ever get back the "early"). i'm a much-loved wife and daughter, sister and aunt. but all my sparkly visions have dissipated, instead replaced with a sense of disillusionment.

so, my goal for the next six months is simple. mostly. live like i'm still young, instead of acting like i'm already past my prime. time to go shopping for fun clothing, brightly colored nail polish, apply for the jobs i only dream of getting, and find some kindred spirits. to be inspired and to be an inspiration. mostly, though, i want to dig deep and stretch myself in my faith and get closer to God. my Savior. my life.