dreams.

i often stay up late not only to try to catch my husband while he's up and around a computer on the ship, but to avoid sleep. not that i don't love sleep... it's a favorite of mine. but apparently, a side-effect of having a very vivid imagination is doubly vivid dreams. as fun as that might sound, it kinda messes with my head after a certain point.
do you remember any recent dreams? let's hear 'em!

tired.

perpetually tired is a side effect of stress and depression. yep, i used the d-word. i find some days it's easier to be un-tired than others. yesterday wasn't one of those days. i made it to bible study (which was actually quite fun!), helped my friend h find a dress for an upcoming event, and then went home and napped for 3+ hours. sure, part of it might have been the late night and the 3 am phone call from my hugsband, but when i woke from the nap i was still tired. come to think of it, could've been the bad dreams, too. darn.
so what are some things that i try to un-tire myself? sometimes it's a pick-me-up like a smoothie. sorry, you won't find green smoothies here. i'm more likely (because the depression and tiredness also kill motivation) to stop by jamba juice when i'm already out and about. sometimes it's a caffeine jolt from my keurig machine. or tanning burning out on the patio when the sun is shining.
what do you do (other than sleep) when you just feel tired?

"there must be something wrong with those people who think audrey hepburn doesn't perspire, hiccup or sneeze, because they know that's not true. in fact, i hiccup more than most." - audrey hepburn

shot in the dark.

i'm rediscovering that i love to teach. informally.
i love to prepare and design lessons, devotionals, study guides. it's why i dream of being an instructional designer, or doing leadership development within a ministry. i just don't have the resources to make that possible right now, nor do i see many openings for entry-level positions in the area i live, anyway.
so, my job search again, with a mind of its own, veers off the path i thought to follow. again, i feel lost. so, rediscovering my love for teaching? it feels like i printed out the directions and, because the printer was low on ink, only step 5 is legible: "turn left on carmella avenue." it helps me not.
have you ever felt like you have crayons without paper to draw on, or only step 5 in the directions?

"dreams surely are difficult, confusing, and not everything in them is brought to pass for mankind. for fleeting dreams have two gates: one is fashioned of horn and one of ivory. those which pass through the one of sawn ivory are deceptive, bringing tidings which come to nought, but those which issue from the one of polished horn bring true results when a mortal sees them." - homer's the odyssey