hai.bo.

"haibo" is a word i picked up during my many months in south africa (a place i still call home) - it's an exclamatory word, like "wow" or "woah." and haibo is definitely a word i'd use to describe the last couple of weeks. i finished up a 3-week stay at home in nebraska and then returned home to so-cal to a list of tasks and errands that won't be finished for a long while, yet. mostly because they predominantly stem from my husband's college applications.
the most exciting thing? i'm working on some self-assigned homework for a bible study i'm going to start in february. the invites are being sent today, to decide on a day of the week, and i am beyond thrilled to study romans. i've got most of the details planned out, and i'm reading through the whole book now, before i move on to the actual lesson-plans for each week. hopefully, the study goes well. it's just one of my goals for this spring. there's another that i'm equally excited about, and i'll share it soon.
random post today - but i wanted to update y'all on what's on my brain lately!
love!
re

confessions of a bible major: deliverer.

during one of the songs at church tonight, it dawned on me that i'm not very good at believing in God sometimes.
...  say what?  ...
yep. i know that sounds a bit crazy, but it's quite true. of course i believe He exists. most of the time, i believe He loves me (who doesn't doubt that occasionally, during rough times?). i have no problem believing that He is active in this world and intervenes on behalf of people. but i have serious issues with truly believing that He *will* deliver me from the situations i face.
i know that deliverer is a common name for God and all. trust me. in fact, i did a search and got 228 responses. that is not a small number. that's a big number! (homestar runner, anyone?)
i deeply crave God's deliverance in my life, but at the same time, i have never really consciously thought about it.
a lot of times in my life, i've had to tough it out. of course the biggest emotional bog that comes to mind is this last deployment. jobless, in a new town with very few friends... i so wanted God to plop answers in my lap. instead, i faced rejection, loneliness and disappointment for the better part of a year.
while i certainly don't know how God's deliverance will play itself out in my life, i do know that psalm 40, in its entirety, is going to be my prayer for the coming year. because it is only by God's strength and deliverance that i'll make it through.
here's to believing, without a doubt, in His ability to deliver me.
--
...how have you experienced His deliverance in your life?

mis-communicating.

last night yesterday was a bit rough. as the day progressed, i felt progressively misunderstood. not by any particular person, and about nothing monumental, but the misunderstandings seemed to pile up as in one of mayhem's little tricks. while many people would shrug it off, i've always had issues with feeling misunderstood - i have a possibly unhealthy deep desire to be understood correctly, and i push to make that happen.
scattered, stilted or short conversations (via email, text or hurried phone calls) have a lot to do with misunderstanding. in this world of quick communication, texting, facebook chats and instant messaging, is it any wonder that i, along with so many other people, feel misunderstood? is it because the art of listening has been suppressed somehow? i can't believe that it has been lost altogether, but i feel the results of some suppression of communication.
and, in all of this wondering...
i'm not at all surprised that i chose the word "listen" as my oneword for 2011. it's clearly something at which i need to work harder. especially when it comes to listening to God's voice. it's why i got my first and only tattoo. the greek words epi de to remati sou, which are translated "but at your word" and come from luke 5:5.

when [Jesus] had finished speaking, he said to simon, "put out into the deep water and lower your nets for a catch." simon answered, "master, we worked hard all night and caught nothing! but at your word i will lower the nets." when they had done this, they caught so many fish that their net started to tear... when simon peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying "go away from me, Lord, for i am a sinful man." -luke 5:4-6, 8

confessions of a bible major (#1)

[[here begins my first series of posts. i plan to spread out my little confessions, interchanging them with regular posts without any real regularity. i'll post these as they come to mind, and they won't always be so serious-sounding as this one. promise.]]

#1 - i tend to dislike paraphrases, as a rule.

when people quote the message, i often cringe. no offense intended, now, but i don't like the idea of basing my faith, beliefs or actions on something so fluid. there is so much interpretation involved in paraphrases, and that makes me nervous. sure, some of the "verses" are pretty spot-on, or hard to mess with, or whatever. and no, not everyone knows greek and hebrew. i don't expect that.
mostly, i tend to feel that such weighted interpretations belong in commentaries, not in "bibles." because too many people who don't know better believe paraphrases to be more accurate than they sometimes are.
i don't expect everyone to adopt my stance and habits of avoiding paraphrases altogether. i do, however, want to help people be aware of what they read, encourage them to analyze paraphrases more carefully, and use them sparingly as simply a resource instead of a main text.
God's word is too important to take lightly, and it deserves our full respect and care in both reading and interpreting.

"what you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth." - jewish proverb