off to the gym.

in light of the fact that i've gained a lot of weight in the year before and (nearly) two years since being married, i'm trying to make some changes. that means short morning exercises to wake up in the morning, 5 gym days a week, and eating better. nothing super crazy (aside from the gym part, which i always will think is nuts), but effective. interestingly, my food issue is actually eating not-enough. rarely do i have the motivation to cook for myself when i live alone, so i end up eating only one or two meals a day. not good! so, with a book and ipod in my hand, i'm off to the elliptical! check out my pinterest for some of the quick-exercise ideas and fun workouts (harry potter movie-watching goodness FTW)!! expect some recipes soon, and maybe some workout playlist inspirations, since that's also part of the life-change that made the non-list.
chau, all. love!

thanks.giving.

random-seeming post for the middle of february, but necessary nonetheless.
our worship leader at church tonight challenged us to spend a few minutes in prayer, thanking God for what he has done in and/or for us today, this week, or during this phase of life. i just took a look around me and sat down and cried. i was sitting between dear friends from small group - two whole rows of us together, missing only one couple from the group. the feeling of belonging was breathtaking. it's been so long since i've felt that. and i'm truly thankful for it. especially because of the journey He took me on to get to this place. this week, i'll share a bit about the struggle of my first year of marriage, but tonight i want to focus on the fact that He has shaped and guided me into this very moment. His sovereignty is overwhelming, and feeling His presence is encouraging and refreshing. today is beautiful, because my God is alive and active and working in me.
may your week allow you to reflect His light.

pinterest and other late-night wonders.

lately, i've been trying to be more active in pinning. i often check my pinterest app on my ipod, but i don't really pin my own things. i DO still save images from around the web into random folders on my computer and hugs' computer, too. darn. so, i'm trying to go save-free and pin it up! this way, i can share my ideas and loves with my friends! i love it. such a great sharing community. though it's already getting me into trouble (read: my sister-in-law-to-be is urging me to start crocheting because of an adorable pinterest project she found)!
another cuddled-in-bed-boredom-cure for me has been k-dramas. i love international media of most sorts, and i'm a sucker for a story of any sort. the best part is there are quite a few available on hulu, full-run. that means no waiting a week for a new episode! that means a lot of entertainment for those sleepless nights that are oh-so-common when hugs is gone. someday soon, i'll post a list of things i've "learned" from k-dramas about korean society. which, of course, is a bit tongue-in-cheek, because no television show really portrays the current culture of any country!
what do you do late at night when you can't sleep, or need to occupy your mind?

hai.bo.

"haibo" is a word i picked up during my many months in south africa (a place i still call home) - it's an exclamatory word, like "wow" or "woah." and haibo is definitely a word i'd use to describe the last couple of weeks. i finished up a 3-week stay at home in nebraska and then returned home to so-cal to a list of tasks and errands that won't be finished for a long while, yet. mostly because they predominantly stem from my husband's college applications.
the most exciting thing? i'm working on some self-assigned homework for a bible study i'm going to start in february. the invites are being sent today, to decide on a day of the week, and i am beyond thrilled to study romans. i've got most of the details planned out, and i'm reading through the whole book now, before i move on to the actual lesson-plans for each week. hopefully, the study goes well. it's just one of my goals for this spring. there's another that i'm equally excited about, and i'll share it soon.
random post today - but i wanted to update y'all on what's on my brain lately!
love!
re

random thought of the day...

chai means tea. therefore, the phrase "chai tea" is redundant and makes me giggle inside. next time you order (or have me make some for you) try "masala chai" which means "spiced tea" or chai latte. you're welcome.
wink.

nebraska christmas.

i love san diego weather. love. after four straight years of two winters per year, and then indiana-freezing winters on top... i feel i deserve the warm weather and sunshine for a bit. this year for christmas, though, i went back to my parents' house for the holidays. and winter. i'm laughing to myself, because this christmas in nebraska has been decidedly un-white, and even slightly warm. it was in the 50s today.
i love coming home to family for christmas. it means loads of baking, so many brothers, little niece and nephew vying for my attention, amazing food that i don't always have to make myself, and so much love. the presents under the tree trees didn't hurt, either.
i love giving presents, too. this year's presents were a bit anticlimactic, since a few were homemade. i've taken up knitting again, and am working on the third of three scarves-as-presents. my mom got a cozy cream-colored loose-knit scarf. tommy and killian (brother and nephew) are getting matching charcoal chunky-knit ribbed scarves. the best part? i have a blast knitting for people i love. and all of these loved ones have loved their scarves. super simple to knit, but a great project that takes up plenty of my time. wanna start a knitting circle, anyone? even if we don't live near each other, there's always google hangout!
love. re.

#oneword365

ever since she (and, so, i too) started picking a word each year, i've loved alece's tradition. it's absolutely astounding to discover how one little word, in place of tens of new year's resolutions, can change your year and your heart. last year, i even got a tattoo as a reminder to "listen." it's never been an easy path to follow, but God has worked in my mind and heart so many ways just by reminding me of that one word during important moments. amazing.
this year, my word is "light."
i think this one-word-reminder will be central in many of my decisions, relationships and thoughts this year, and i love how i don't pick a single one-word on my own. God is so amazing, how he speaks to us and through us. the reason for "light" is john 1. it was my christmas story of choice this year, because it speaks so deeply to me of God's power and purity and beauty, and also of his sovereignty and love. my goal in choosing "light" is to see and reflect His light. join in and check out the community of bloggers who also participate, and check back here for random updates from me throughout the year. i really hope you join us. it'll change your life. it has mine.
love,
re

new favorite blog.

i know some of you who read also love to find steals, diy, and decorate! if you haven't already heard of all things thrifty (att), you need to go read! i love that it is truly ALL things thrifty - including girls' nights out/in! there are lots of fun tips and giveaways and inspiration.
this weekend, brooke has a giveaway going for a $100 gift card for pottery barn! drool. i love pb, but can only dream about most of the things in their stores! whenever i see one in a mall, i walk around and admire. how great would it be to win!? the giveaway is sponsored by hometalk, an online community where users can ask and answer questions about anything home-related. from what i've seen, i already love it. home upkeep, asking for help with home decor, inspiration... loads of great info! so, head on over to att and enter. if they get 1000 entries or more, the prize increases to $200.
one of my goals in the next 10 months is to make this house feel even more like home, and to improve my quality of living by making my home more comfortable! i've already started a mini-garden on the back patio, and i've done a few small projects. i plan to start posting some soon, so check back here, too!

confessions of a bible major: deliverer.

during one of the songs at church tonight, it dawned on me that i'm not very good at believing in God sometimes.
...  say what?  ...
yep. i know that sounds a bit crazy, but it's quite true. of course i believe He exists. most of the time, i believe He loves me (who doesn't doubt that occasionally, during rough times?). i have no problem believing that He is active in this world and intervenes on behalf of people. but i have serious issues with truly believing that He *will* deliver me from the situations i face.
i know that deliverer is a common name for God and all. trust me. in fact, i did a search and got 228 responses. that is not a small number. that's a big number! (homestar runner, anyone?)
i deeply crave God's deliverance in my life, but at the same time, i have never really consciously thought about it.
a lot of times in my life, i've had to tough it out. of course the biggest emotional bog that comes to mind is this last deployment. jobless, in a new town with very few friends... i so wanted God to plop answers in my lap. instead, i faced rejection, loneliness and disappointment for the better part of a year.
while i certainly don't know how God's deliverance will play itself out in my life, i do know that psalm 40, in its entirety, is going to be my prayer for the coming year. because it is only by God's strength and deliverance that i'll make it through.
here's to believing, without a doubt, in His ability to deliver me.
--
...how have you experienced His deliverance in your life?

on being in my early 20s.

[[before you chastise me for disappearing on you for months, i will just say that i try to enjoy as much time WITH my hugsband as possible when he's home. also, my creativity was trying (and failing) to channel itself into other projects. so now i'm back with full attention.]]

for years, i anticipated reaching the early 20s stage of my life. daydreams of my future self's life changed shape on occasion, but the anticipation and eagerness was a constant companion for most of my teens.

i started off with a bang, for sure. i celebrated my 21st in jerusalem, with plenty of long-distance love from home and my then-boyfriend-now-husband. that summer, i lived in northern virginia with an eight-to-five internship that i loved. l.o.v.e.d.

when i returned to my senior year of college, i struggled and stumbled my way through beyond-demanding classes and the full realization that most of my best college friends had already graduated and started their new (real) lives. three weeks after graduation, i was married and en route to my new home in san diego county, with sparkly visions of a career-track, city-ish-living and beach-going in my head.

fast-forward... stop. play. i'm six months from the end of this era of my life (i have a crazy, unshakable idea that once 24 happens, i'm in my mid-20s and can't ever get back the "early"). i'm a much-loved wife and daughter, sister and aunt. but all my sparkly visions have dissipated, instead replaced with a sense of disillusionment.

so, my goal for the next six months is simple. mostly. live like i'm still young, instead of acting like i'm already past my prime. time to go shopping for fun clothing, brightly colored nail polish, apply for the jobs i only dream of getting, and find some kindred spirits. to be inspired and to be an inspiration. mostly, though, i want to dig deep and stretch myself in my faith and get closer to God. my Savior. my life.

sorry, i love you, but...

my hugsband returns today. and by "returns," i mean i got an hour and a half of fitful sleep before waking up at 2 am to get ready, i have to leave at 4, and the ship doesn't even pull in until closer to 10 am, and then it's a matter of finding each other and trying to navigate traffic off base. yep. today's gonna be a long one.
back to the point: he'll be home. which means i'm peace-ing out for a while. much as i love y'all, i need me some davidtime.
kthxbai.

college memories.

i did some reminiscing tonight, and just wanted to share. there are a great number of memories i have from my taylor days, but there are a few that really stand out in my mind.

• mukappa - fabulous organization (now nationwide, but started on taylor's campus years ago) for missionaries' kids and third culture kids. i was welcomed into the group, got to be on the leadership cabinet, and felt so at home with my international friends!
• summer greek (the entire second year of greek in a span of about 8 weeks, but with a fabulous class and an amazing professor) - complete with "greek spirit week" that featured dress-up days and some fun activities.
• airband. enough. said. really. although i usually worked the shows, i still got to enjoy them!
• the tears and struggles that came with having dr. smith for two senior seminar classes, but finishing both classes with a's!
• study abroads: one month in greece/italy, and a semester in j-lem.
• friends. the best friends ever.
• amazing st. patrick's day party my senior year, that involved a potluck of yummy food and watching not one but BOTH boondock saints movies!
• the souphouse. closest thing to a fraternity we had (besides broho) at taylor. international students and m.k.s who rented a house together, and it was a melting pot hangout for other students. open door policy, parties, and a full kitchen. sometimes i cooked. sometimes i cleaned. sometimes both. sometimes neither - i was just there to enjoy the party or movie. but i always felt welcome and at home. <3

taylor, i miss you. not the nowheresville-indiana part, but the home part. you took care of me, loved me, and pushed & stretched me. thank you.

thank God it's monday...

yeah, i just thought of the nofx song. ohgeez.
but seriously.
monday is the end of the weekend. which is a welcome reprieve from solid solitude. this weekend was abnormally busy, but i'm still more than embracing the weekdays. to boot, i heart mondays because they're my fg day. fg = friendly grounds = my local coffee shop. my friend (i can call her that, now, since we're facebook official and all) katie works monday nights, but it's also ceramics and euchre night. i get to sit on the comfy leather loveseat with my laptop and watch the goings-on, talk to katie if it's a slow night, and be away from home. lovely.
since i haven't posted a recipe in a good while, i thought i'd give one. i failed to take pictures, which is devastatingly slacker-ish of me, but i do hope that you try this recipe. now. because it is my new favorite cupcake recipe. aside from the carbomb cupcakes (also from smitten kitchen).

spiced honey cake & cupcakes
adapted from smitten kitchen

3 1/2 c. a-p flour (next time, i might replace half of this with whole wheat flour, just for fun)
1 T. baking powder
1 t. baking soda
1/2 t. kosher salt
4 t. ground cinnamon
1/2 t. ground cloves
1/2 t. ground allspice
1 c. canola oil
1 c. honey
1 1/2 c. granulated sugar
1/2 c. brown sugar
3 large eggs, room temp
1 t. vanilla
1 c. warm coffee
3/4 c. orange juice (fresh-squeezed is best, but all i had at home was the carton)

yield: one loaf pan, and about 18 cupcakes

preheat oven to 350 degrees F and grease pans / line muffin tin with liners.

in a very large bowl* whisk flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and spices. form a well in the middle and dump in the wet ingredients and sugar. (deb throws in a great reminder to measure the oil before the honey, so the honey doesn't stick to the measuring cup!) whisk all together, or use a mixer on low speed until well the wet and dry ingredients are well-incorporated.

fill the loaf pan to 3/4 full, and place on a baking sheet (deb encouraged 2 baking sheets, stacked, and said it helps to bake the cake evenly. alas, i only have one suitable baking sheet, but my loaf cake still turned out okay). the loaf gets baked for 45-55 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean!

cupcake trick: fill liners 2/3 full, using a large cookie scoop - they'll all be the same size if you do the same amount of scoops for each! cupcakes get baked for 15-17 minutes, but start checking them around the 12-minute-mark, to be sure they don't overbake! dry cupcakes are so sad...

let all of these rest for 15 minutes before removing from the pans! then, continue to cool on a wire rack. my loaf went straight for the aluminum foil and into the freezer for when hugs comes back. the cupcakes got the following frosting and attended (but did not return from) a friend's birthday party:

beat 1/2 stick butter and 4 oz. cream cheese with an electric mixer until creamy and slightly "whipped" looking. add in 1 t. vanilla, and continue to mix. turn the mixer to a slow speed and add powdered sugar until the frosting reaches a nice consistency. (about 2 cups, maybe? i forgot to measure...)

muah. love.

coastering.

the "ER" in there is important...
a lot of my silence the last month or two has been due to a serious back and forth action going on in my whole being. i'm excited for the impending return of my hugsband, but i'm also anxious with all that needs to be done and nervous for the transition back to married life. because let's face it. deployment marriage is not at all the same as married life.
in the last couple of weeks the up and down coastering over peaks and thru low-low valleys has been especially tough on my sleep and well-being. even though the time difference between the ship and here is less, my sleep is possibly more screwy than ever before on this deployment. today i overslept and missed out on 30 minutes of an hour-long coffee date with navy-wife friends i hadn't seen in months. because i was awake 'til 5 am or later (earlier?). because i'm too antsy to get to sleep before that point these days.
while i deeply crave the community i've already wiggled into at the church in town, i'm deeply craving something different, something more. i long for expository teaching, as opposed to series after series of themed sermons. themed sermons are okay... i just miss going through scripture in context. i'd like my college classes back, sans homework, please. :-)

and at that... i'm gonna sign off. because clearly, i'm crazy and need to go put some sustenance in my body and try to sleep this insanity off.

whaddup, wednesday!?

so... because i'm sleepy and almost forgot a post, i'm going to entertain today. and by "entertain," i simply mean copy and paste a few of my favorite quotes from @Had2SayIt ... because they are pure twitter gold.

• True story: After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F...
• Tweeting bible verses doesn't count as having a quiet time. Matthew 6:5
• I have had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
• All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
• If you say "beer can" with a British accent, you're also saying "bacon" with a Jamaican accent.
• Those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do.
• No sense being pessimistic; it wouldn't work anyway.

seriously, friends. if you are on twitter, go follow @Had2SayIt. you won't be inundated with nonsense. just enough funnies to keep you laughing along with me.


do you have any favorite puns or quips from recently?

memorial day?

what i wish i'd done yesterday:
have a bbq bash with friends. anyone we know would've been welcome. i love big parties with tons of great food. blame my upbringing. grin.
of course, i'd have to make dogs, burgers, and the best [baked!] sweet potato fries ever. i don't know a single person i've made them for who doesn't love 'em. and they're SO easy to make!
and if i had an ice cream maker (not that my flabs of steel need one), i'd definitely make this. or this.
or maybe we'd go crazy and move everything about 15 miles west, to the beach. grin. be jealous.
or if it could've been david and i together, i might've gone really nuts and made some coffee-crusted steaks like i've long wanted to try. mmmm.
--
except i didn't do any of that. i DID, however, put together a patio furniture set (thanks mom!!). all day long i worked on this project. 2 target stores, 20 minutes of pulling and yelling at a box that got stuck in my car (i ended up just opening the box and removing everything, and STILL had a tough time getting the box out), and hours and hours of bolts and screws later... i ended up with these pretties:

they don't have their cushies in this pic, but that's because the sun was going down and the couch in front of the tv was calling out to my tired self. come sit on meeeeeeee! mmhmm. indeed.
all in all, a productive day, but definitely not the best memorial day i've ever had. and now it's time to call it-quits on this day, and maybe even fall asleep on the couch. after i turn the a/c back on. it's still hot in this house!

on my mind.

since i'm spending this holiday weekend (make that an entire week) alone, at the end of a paycheck (read: without money to spend on fun things), i've been doing a lot of thinking. no, really. a lot. i'm going to give a nod to a fellow nebraskan's lovely, munchy trail mix posts, and dole out a smattering of bullet point scrumptiousness:

• grown-up furniture... i especially have been lusting over the idea of a functional patio dining set, so i can host more often. i love hosting parties. and couches. i'd love a big beautiful sectional so we can have people over INSIDE, too.
• homecoming. not the dance. the real-deal sailor kind. because it's coming, and i'm seriously antsy. but still not counting down. please don't make me count the days.
• no idea what to do with my life... even short-term. a dear friend mentioned sweet-catering for birthdays and parties. that idea appeals to me greatly. but dunno if i have the guts to start something as big as that on my own.
• isolation eats at me. i miss being surrounded by friends/family.
• memorial day (and its great sales) should NOT happen at the end of paychecks. it isn't fair.
• i miss baking, but i can't do it. not if i want to fit into my love-of-a-homecoming-dress! it's gorgeous. and a wee bit tighter than i prefer.
• sea world opened the new shamu show (one ocean) this weekend, and i'm seriously driving out there to make use of my fun pass this week. thursday. i might even go on the atlantis ride a few times. 'cause i can.
• i miss green summers and fresh garden veggies. and bonfires. and all things that feel like home.
• my doggie SNORES. like. it's. her. job.
• lastly, because of the bullet points... i'm hoping hugs and i will get to go to a shooting range this summer so i can learn to use a gun or a few. and maybe i can even get a license and my own someday? love.

'til next time!

dreams.

i often stay up late not only to try to catch my husband while he's up and around a computer on the ship, but to avoid sleep. not that i don't love sleep... it's a favorite of mine. but apparently, a side-effect of having a very vivid imagination is doubly vivid dreams. as fun as that might sound, it kinda messes with my head after a certain point.
do you remember any recent dreams? let's hear 'em!

boozin' blondies.

okay, okay. so they aren't so boozin'. but they do have a bit of whiskey in them (which is added before they bake, so the alcohol mostly bakes out)... mostly, it's fun to say "boozin'" every time i think of these.
i bake when i'm lonely. so a while ago, after a day alone with jade and nobody else, i got antsy and went straight to my go-to dessert site: smitten kitchen. and found a recipe for simple blondies with a genius add-in options list.

as such, these blondies need no further introduction.

boozin' blondies
adapted slightly from smitten kitchen

1 stick (8T / 4 oz) butter, melted (i used salted, because it's all i had on hand)
2/3 c. lightly packed brown sugar
1/3 c. granulated sugar
1 large egg
1 t. vanilla
1/4 c. whiskey
1/4 to 1/2 c. chocolate chips (more or less to your own taste!)
pinch salt
1 c. all-purpose flour, plus 1 T. flour (set aside)

butter an 8x8 baking pan (if you're feeling fancy, use the aluminum-foil trick - turn the pan upside down, cover with foil and mold to pan's shape, being sure to leave excess on at least two opposite sides. then, invert and put the foil on the inside of the pan. when you take the blondies out of the oven, they won't stick to the pan, and you can lift them right out with minimal clean-up of the pan itself!)
preheat oven to 350°f.
in ONE BOWL, mix the sugars together and add the melted butter. stir until well blended and smooth. add egg, then vanilla and whiskey, and beat until combined.
add in flour, 1/2 c. at a time (just to make mixing easier) and incorporate.
in a small dish, combine chocolate chips with the extra 1 T. flour set aside earlier (this is so they stay in place during cooking! try it - it works even better with nuts and raisins!) and toss those into the mix.

bake for 20-25 minutes, or until middle is set. cool, then cut and enjoy immensely, maybe with a glass of milk or a bowl of ice cream. or, if you're feeling a bit wild, both. i'm not judging. and, as deb mentions in her post, you can easily double the recipe and use a 9x13 pan if you plan to share any of these. mmmm.

vacation and vacation from vacation.

i'm back! from my soul vacation, tracing my way through the constellation? nope. not at all. (i'm ridiculous.) i did, however, go back to nebraska for a 10-day visit with the fam! it was so wonderful to see everyone, and to spend a bit of time with my brothers and parents again. i hadn't seen jimmy or bean since the wedding! that's almost a year ago, now! eek. is this what growing up is like!? i guess so... especially since i moved across the country.
there were a lot of bittersweets. it was tough to be without david and my sleeplessness (and/or nightmares) returned. i loved the chance to spend lots of time with my brothers, and their significant others. i didn't get to play with my soon-to-be niece and nephew nearly enough, but i did get the sweetest goodbye hugs. i got a massage with my soon-to-be seestor-in-law, during a week that was very tough for her. i got to do lots of shopping with my mom (lahv the target runs!!!), but the trips to omaha were overwhelming, after living in a place where i can get most anything i need with just a 5-minute drive. familiar scenery was fun, but the weather was shocking. see? bittersweets.
so, when i got back less than a week ago, i kinda crashed. i attempted a vacation-vacation, trying to catch up on sleep, while still keeping more active than i was all winter (gym, small group, friends) and now i'm in a whirlwind to get ready for a visit from a cousin and a day at disneyland with a friend! speaking of getting ready, i have to jet... back to target! grin.
i've got a slew of posts coming this week! recipes, my new hats, project pictures (revamping a previously-ugly swag lamp)! come back often, and we'll have some fun! mkay? mkay!